갑자기 왜? (Why all of a sudden?)

What does it mean to surrender your life to Christ’s plan? I mean truly. What does it actually look like for a person to give Jesus their yes to whatever His will is? As I am soon finishing my senior year of high school, a lot of my thoughts and prayers have been centered on God’s will for my life. Over and over, I have come before Jesus and told Him, “Here is my yes, please show me Your plan and I’ll follow after You.” Day after day I prayed for His direction and guidance for my next steps.

 But, like He usually does, He made me wait. I began to grow anxious as what I thought might be the next step’s door closed. I was not sure what to do, and I didn’t want to make the wrong decision. In my heart, I knew that the Lord would not let me make the wrong decision, but even still I wasn’t sure what I should do. My mind was consumed with these thoughts, “I need to make some decisions soon. I can’t just sit here and wait for the Lord to one day audibly declare to me all the plans He has for me. But then again, I don’t want to trust in myself and follow after my own plans.” As I look back at the thoughts that overwhelmed my mind, I see a pure heart that wanted to follow after Christ’s will, but then grew anxious when she had to wait on the Lord. So, I began praying, “Father, You know above all I want to follow what You have for me. I’m not sure what exactly that is yet, but I know what desires I think You have given me. So, Lord, I’m going to start pursuing what You have given me a love for. If it is not Your will, close the door, but if it is Your will, open all the doors and confirm in my spirit that this is where You want me. Here is my yes. Where You lead I will follow.” 

After returning to Portugal from our time in America, the Lord started opening doors left and right. I applied to a school that would allow me to pursue my education degree and study abroad in Korea. The next day I received an email, so I called the school to ask some questions, but to my surprise, I found out that I had been accepted! I applied and then the next day got accepted. I joked that the Lord had made me wait for so much, so He didn’t make me wait long to find out if I had been accepted into the college I wanted to attend. He completely opened the door. Then that same day, my dad told me some more confirming news. Someone had opened up their home for me to stay with them for six weeks while I am in Korea next year! God provided a host family. Soon after, my parents and I had a zoom call with one of the people I’ll be working in ministry with in Korea. After the call, I felt such confirmation that the Lord wants me in Korea. The man had told me that they are so excited to have me with them because they need young, solid believers to help them with their ministry focusing on the next generation. As he told me their hope to reach the next generation, I felt excited to have a ministry to be a part of.